Many years ago, on the streets of Cardiff, it was common to see impassioned street evangelists with their placards and loudspeakers, exhorting passersby to repent and accept Jesus into their lives, and punctuating that with a repertoire of Bible verses. Sometimes I stopped and chatted with them, as that seemed the courteous thing to do, but I never came away understanding why anyone should indeed repent, and the concept of someone ‘dying for my sins’ 2,000 years ago made almost no sense to me then. I wasn’t quite sure whether they knew themselves.
If there’s a lesson for us here, aside from knowing our ‘apologetics’, it’s the importance of ‘meeting people where they are’, to borrow an often-repeated motto. Obviously that requires knowing where people are, and that in turn it requires listening to them. If we’re to reach anyone, we must make our faith relevant to their circumstances, and I don’t mean ‘relevant’ in the sense of becoming acceptable to the secular world and presenting what we think would be relevant to young people. Evangelisation is largely about where Christianity and faith might fit into the life of the individual, about what they can believe in an emulate. And usually it’s the case that religion is not even mentioned during our interactions, because they’re simply not oriented to that.
As you can probably tell, Street Pastors are working largely as counsellors, not preachers, and our mission statement is one of listening and caring. So, we spent the day with someone from a counselling service based in Newport to focus on this aspect of our ministry.
Non-Verbal Communication
One of the first things we discussed was non-verbal communication, as everyone expresses more visually than they do verbally. A lot can be determined about a person’s psychology from their clothes, facial expressions, body language, eye movements, etc. Rightly or wrongly, this will bias our interactions, and that’s another reason why it’s important to listen to what that person is actually saying.
But what do we communicate as Street Pastors? Hopefully that we’re a form of authority people can turn to without fear of being judged or reported to the police, that we can be trusted to provide a safe environment, that we can protect a vulnerable person from harm, and that we’d express the love Christ has for them. These are things we hope the uniform communicates. Maybe that is all we need to express.
A person travelling alone through the town centre after closing time would feel relieved to see police or Street Pastors. A person who’s out drinking to escape the bad patch they’re currently going through, which I’ve done myself, might feel happy to encounter someone who’s genuinely concerned about their situation.
Proxemics
Next, we covered ‘proxemics’ – proximity and personal space. Why is this important? Well, I’d argue it’s about our survival instinct. We reserve our personal space for people we know aren’t threats – relatives, close friends, etc. and we react badly when that personal space is invaded or disrespected. I also think the routine invasions of our personal spaces contributes to the stress and subtle aggression that’s prevalent in the city.
Early on the issues around hugging came up, which turned out to be a contentious subject of discussion in our group, and difficult because strangers do hug us as a show of genuine gratitude and affection. My opinion is that a Street Pastor isn’t under any obligation to allow intimate contact, and I think it’s important to set boundaries from the outset. Conversely, it’s important to remember that we’re the ones approaching people and putting ourselves in a situation in which we might encounter verbal abuse, groping, unwanted physical contact, or whatever some of us might consider upsetting – I’ve never experienced any of that on patrol or working at the Night Shelter, to my recollection. We don’t really have the right to enforce our expectations of appropriate conduct or behaviour on the streets at 01:00, unless a crime is being committed, but again, we can assert our own boundaries and personal space.
As a martial artist, as a matter of habit, I avoid being within striking range of someone I don’t know, and I’ll usually avoid facing that person directly. Also, I might have my arms folded or a hand close to my face when interacting with someone. As well as being advantageous for self-defence, these also work as psychological tactics for discouraging physical contact. Another good thing about this is you’re respecting the other person’s physical space.
Active Listening
When listening, we should have an attitude of acceptance, try to understand the person’s perspective, perhaps occasionally ask questions that invite further exploration, and basically act as a means for the person to reflect.
We covered open and closed questions. This is important during counselling, as open questions invite conversation, enable the other person to reveal more to you, and more importantly to themselves, about their circumstances, and they tend to be less loaded with your opinion.
One thing I think was missing from the session was the importance of sometimes relating your own experiences. Often it’s the case that people draw strength and encouragement from solidarity, knowing they’re not alone in whatever adverse situation they’re facing.
A Catholic Commentarium 